Nervous Girl

I just purchased a copy of the latest RI book, "The Wisdom of Dr. Low: Words to Live By." This great resource has frequently-used and not so frequently used spots and quotations heard at Recovery meetings from four of Dr. Low's books. So, while at a meeting you might hear someone spot "the passion for self-distrust," you can open the book to the section on averageness, and read the sentences that precede it and put it into context. Plus, it gives readers the book and page from which the quotation originates. It also has quotes from "My Dear Ones," a biography about Dr. Low written by Neil and Margaret Rau. Whether you are new to Recovery or a veteran member, this resource is great because it organizes the quotations by topic, including averageness, beliefs, depression, obsessions, panic, self-diagnosis, self-help, sleep, temper, and trivialities, just to name a few. And it gives members insight into the program. I'd suggest that anyone who wants a ...

Today started out great. I got to sleep in until 9 a.m. I had a fairly peaceful morning with my son, who finally got enough sleep himself to be agreeable and let me brush his teeth and dress him for a field trip to an ice skating rink he was going to later in the day with his father. He even asked for oatmeal this morning for breakfast and ate most of it. Well, I have to expect to be disappointed or expect frustration, right? That's an important RI principle. I should have been expecting a load of frustration, but I went along blithely, expecting nothing but ease and comfort. Ha! My husband had to call the computer company to once again report that our brand new computer doesn't work. That took time, so my son and husband left almost an hour later than scheduled. They left and I sighed and thought, "Now I have the house to myself for a couple hours and can finish the laundry, do some writing, clean the kitchen, exercise." I checked my email and went downstairs about a...

I was moping around last night after waiting around all afternoon for a return phone call I didn't get (the person called this morning - yeah!), and it wasn't until late at night and I was in bed that I remembered I could have posted an example on Recovery International's Example Forum. I also could have called another RI member and given a five-minute phone call, but it was too late. The Example Forum lets users (you do have to sign up but it is free) post examples in the four-step format and then receive spots from other users. It isn't in real time, but I find it somewhat cathartic just to write my example and know that someone else will offer some feedback, Recovery style, even if it's a day or two later. Plus, I read other example and spot on them and it's amazing how much better it makes me feel. If you're completely new to RI, you can visit their other forums as well, including the Q & A Forum, the General Discussion Forum, and the RI website. The...

Especially for a nervous person such as myself. One particular RI spot that is embedded into my consciousness is that "nervous people don't like change." Two of our family friends might be moving. One friend might move out of the country and another, just across town. My son loves to play with the kids from both families and I don't make friends all that easily. So I felt unsettled by the news. I knew, for a few minutes, that they were moving all because of me (fearful temper), and I thought, "How dare they leave?" (angry temper). I was genuinely annoyed and really only thought about how it would affect me if they moved. This self-centeredness is a great example of "taking my own dear self too seriously," another fitting RI spot. Over the years in RI, I've learned I cannot control the outer environment and that there is no danger in change - oftentimes it leads to something better. I took lots of secure thoughts that we'll still see the fam...

Today is a great day. When I woke up it was overcast, a nice reprieve from the heat wave we've had here in Southern California. By now, however, the fog has burned off and the sun is shining mercilessly outside. I'm having a difficult time coming up with a blog title today. I finally reached my doctor by phone - no small miracle - but he reaffirmed what he told me before. I don't deal with any type of bad news well, so I decided to draw upon my Recovery training to get me through this and keep my nervous symptoms to a minimum. Plus, I have my meeting tonight and I can give an example (about any symptoms I may have, that is), if I need to. Fertility problems are pretty average for women in their 40s, so I can even see this as a triviality to some degree. And I can look at the total view, that I already have a child and he's a pretty wonderful kid. As long as I change insecure thoughts for secure ones, I can avoid those troublesome nervous symptoms, like panic attacks, lo...

Last week, I wrote about a medical issue that has aspects of a nontriviality. However, there are certainly some events that are trivial and routine that are connected with the original problem. In my case, I emailed the doctor with some questions about my problem, and he called me back but just left a message. Then I tried the next day and he was out until Monday. Finally, I emailed him again, but I missed his reply that told me to call later that day. By this time, I was really frustrated and it was 2 a.m., which meant there was not much I could do about it. I applied my RI training and decided to email him again saying to please call me on my cell phone. I left the number. So instead, he called me at my home phone and left a message. Ugh. By this time I was anxious and irritated. So I again used my RI training and spotted that there was no danger, that I'd eventually reach him, and that I could bear the discomfort of missing his call. These are all spots, or slogans, that I'v...

In Recovery International, we talk mainly about the everyday events that upset us and give us nervous symptoms. In RI terminology, theses events are considered "trivialities." For example, if my boss tells me I need to work overtime, if a clerk at the store is rude to me, if I have to wait a long time on hold while making a phone call, these are all considered trivialities. Most things that happen to us each day are trivial, according the the RI Web site: http://www.recovery-inc.org/system/recovery-international-language.asp. And depending on what meeting you attend, you could give an example on the trivial aspects of a non-triviality. So if you're involved in a divorce, you may give an example on being nervous over opening a letter you've received from your attorney, or if you have a medical problem, you could give an example about waiting for a prescription. At some meetings, the leader might let you give an example about waiting for the results of a routine blood t...