Playing phone tag is trivial but annoying
Last week, I wrote about a medical issue that has aspects of a nontriviality. However, there are certainly some events that are trivial and routine that are connected with the original problem.
In my case, I emailed the doctor with some questions about my problem, and he called me back but just left a message. Then I tried the next day and he was out until Monday. Finally, I emailed him again, but I missed his reply that told me to call later that day. By this time, I was really frustrated and it was 2 a.m., which meant there was not much I could do about it. I applied my RI training and decided to email him again saying to please call me on my cell phone. I left the number. So instead, he called me at my home phone and left a message.
Ugh. By this time I was anxious and irritated. So I again used my RI training and spotted that there was no danger, that I'd eventually reach him, and that I could bear the discomfort of missing his call. These are all spots, or slogans, that I've learned in RI meetings over the last 10 years. I practiced being objective by focusing on what I was doing rather than obsessing on the fact that I've missed all the doctor's calls.
I felt a little better. I was angry at the doctor for not calling me on my cell phone, but I spotted (or noticed) how average it is for people to not read an email word for word. Without RI, I'd be screaming at everyone and trying to make others as unhappy as I felt. I'd be depressed about missing all the doctor's calls and feel hopeless. I really think that RI can help anyone who has a tendency to get upset over missed phone calls and other frustrations that plague normal people on a regular basis.
Another vital principle I've learned in RI is that everyone (doctors, friends, spouses, children, parents, employers, and so on) is outer environment. That means I cannot control other people, no matter how hard I might try or wish. Really, only four components comprise the inner environment, according to RI. These are feelings, sensations, thoughts and impulses. And out of these four things, only two -- thoughts and impulses -- can either be acted upon or ignored by us. So, no matter how much I want my doctor to return my call when I'm available, I cannot control him and make him do it. Oh well.
In my case, I emailed the doctor with some questions about my problem, and he called me back but just left a message. Then I tried the next day and he was out until Monday. Finally, I emailed him again, but I missed his reply that told me to call later that day. By this time, I was really frustrated and it was 2 a.m., which meant there was not much I could do about it. I applied my RI training and decided to email him again saying to please call me on my cell phone. I left the number. So instead, he called me at my home phone and left a message.
Ugh. By this time I was anxious and irritated. So I again used my RI training and spotted that there was no danger, that I'd eventually reach him, and that I could bear the discomfort of missing his call. These are all spots, or slogans, that I've learned in RI meetings over the last 10 years. I practiced being objective by focusing on what I was doing rather than obsessing on the fact that I've missed all the doctor's calls.
I felt a little better. I was angry at the doctor for not calling me on my cell phone, but I spotted (or noticed) how average it is for people to not read an email word for word. Without RI, I'd be screaming at everyone and trying to make others as unhappy as I felt. I'd be depressed about missing all the doctor's calls and feel hopeless. I really think that RI can help anyone who has a tendency to get upset over missed phone calls and other frustrations that plague normal people on a regular basis.
Another vital principle I've learned in RI is that everyone (doctors, friends, spouses, children, parents, employers, and so on) is outer environment. That means I cannot control other people, no matter how hard I might try or wish. Really, only four components comprise the inner environment, according to RI. These are feelings, sensations, thoughts and impulses. And out of these four things, only two -- thoughts and impulses -- can either be acted upon or ignored by us. So, no matter how much I want my doctor to return my call when I'm available, I cannot control him and make him do it. Oh well.
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