Nervous Girl

Today is a great day. When I woke up it was overcast, a nice reprieve from the heat wave we've had here in Southern California. By now, however, the fog has burned off and the sun is shining mercilessly outside. I'm having a difficult time coming up with a blog title today. I finally reached my doctor by phone - no small miracle - but he reaffirmed what he told me before. I don't deal with any type of bad news well, so I decided to draw upon my Recovery training to get me through this and keep my nervous symptoms to a minimum. Plus, I have my meeting tonight and I can give an example (about any symptoms I may have, that is), if I need to. Fertility problems are pretty average for women in their 40s, so I can even see this as a triviality to some degree. And I can look at the total view, that I already have a child and he's a pretty wonderful kid. As long as I change insecure thoughts for secure ones, I can avoid those troublesome nervous symptoms, like panic attacks, lo

Last week, I wrote about a medical issue that has aspects of a nontriviality. However, there are certainly some events that are trivial and routine that are connected with the original problem. In my case, I emailed the doctor with some questions about my problem, and he called me back but just left a message. Then I tried the next day and he was out until Monday. Finally, I emailed him again, but I missed his reply that told me to call later that day. By this time, I was really frustrated and it was 2 a.m., which meant there was not much I could do about it. I applied my RI training and decided to email him again saying to please call me on my cell phone. I left the number. So instead, he called me at my home phone and left a message. Ugh. By this time I was anxious and irritated. So I again used my RI training and spotted that there was no danger, that I'd eventually reach him, and that I could bear the discomfort of missing his call. These are all spots, or slogans, that I'v

In Recovery International, we talk mainly about the everyday events that upset us and give us nervous symptoms. In RI terminology, theses events are considered "trivialities." For example, if my boss tells me I need to work overtime, if a clerk at the store is rude to me, if I have to wait a long time on hold while making a phone call, these are all considered trivialities. Most things that happen to us each day are trivial, according the the RI Web site: http://www.recovery-inc.org/system/recovery-international-language.asp. And depending on what meeting you attend, you could give an example on the trivial aspects of a non-triviality. So if you're involved in a divorce, you may give an example on being nervous over opening a letter you've received from your attorney, or if you have a medical problem, you could give an example about waiting for a prescription. At some meetings, the leader might let you give an example about waiting for the results of a routine blood t

For the last 10 years, I've used the Recovery, International method of self-help to keep the symptoms associated with my mental problems manageable. When I attended my first RI meeting, I was taking several psych meds -- a mood stabilizer, an antidepressant, a major and minor tranquilizer, and sleeping medication -- each day to help me function. Problem was, none of them helped me much at all. All I seemed to get from them were side effects, including weight gain (about 40 pounds total), restlessness and agitation, dry mouth, nightmares, and dry skin to name just a few. I've spoken to other people who took medication and were helped by it, but I wasn't. I tried different medications and got some relief for maybe a week or month, and then I had panic attacks again and was overwhelmed by a deep depression. I felt completely hopeless and life became a sort of drudgery. Just a few months before I attended my first RI meeting, I consented to electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) bec

I've a confession to make: I've been a nervous wreck most of my life - at least since I was a child. So I've started this blog help other people who call themselves nervous or neurotic or just a little crazy see the funny side of life, the humor in it all. Maybe we can learn to laugh at ourselves. I know when I did, my life got better. Maybe it will help us become better people or at least enjoy life a little more. It wasn't until I was 30 years old that I started to learn how to laugh at my nervous symptoms. And I had plenty of them! I was depressed, almost daily it seemed. Life seemed bleak, hopeless, endlessly unpleasant. I got mad, really mad, screaming mad, almost every day. Everyone and everything irritated me: bad drivers, bad traffic, rude salespeople and customer service call center employees, my friends (the few that I had), my employers and coworkers (when I had a job). I found little to be funny in life. If you told me to smile, I wanted to wipe any smile yo