Trivialities that used to make me fall apart
Today started out great. I got to sleep in until 9 a.m. I had a fairly peaceful morning with my son, who finally got enough sleep himself to be agreeable and let me brush his teeth and dress him for a field trip to an ice skating rink he was going to later in the day with his father. He even asked for oatmeal this morning for breakfast and ate most of it.
Well, I have to expect to be disappointed or expect frustration, right? That's an important RI principle. I should have been expecting a load of frustration, but I went along blithely, expecting nothing but ease and comfort. Ha!
My husband had to call the computer company to once again report that our brand new computer doesn't work. That took time, so my son and husband left almost an hour later than scheduled. They left and I sighed and thought, "Now I have the house to myself for a couple hours and can finish the laundry, do some writing, clean the kitchen, exercise."
I checked my email and went downstairs about an hour later and saw my son's lunch still sitting on the kitchen counter. In former days, I would have exploded and called my husband, yelling at him and accusing him of negligence. I can't say I didn't have some unkind thoughts about it, but I pulled another RI spot out of my tool kit and "dropped the judgment" against him (and myself for not reminding him to take it). But I still had to deliver the lunch and leave earlier for work than I originally planned. I decided to be group minded and call my husband and just drop off the lunch, but I felt impelled to rush, which is something RI teaches us to avoid, as it "leads to tenseness," which creates temper and symptoms.
Instead of driving like I was in the Indy 500 to the skating rink, I drove the speed limit and got there in about 15 minutes. I also arrived at work on time, which was amazing considering the traffic. But I still felt some tenseness and lowered tones. Luckily, I've learned in RI, that my symptoms (tenseness included) are "distressing but not dangerous" and they would disappear if I didn't attach any danger to them.
I know before attending RI meetings and learning the method, I would have blown up not only at my husband, but at myself as well. I would have been obnoxious the rest of the day, too. Whew, thank you Recovery, International.
Well, I have to expect to be disappointed or expect frustration, right? That's an important RI principle. I should have been expecting a load of frustration, but I went along blithely, expecting nothing but ease and comfort. Ha!
My husband had to call the computer company to once again report that our brand new computer doesn't work. That took time, so my son and husband left almost an hour later than scheduled. They left and I sighed and thought, "Now I have the house to myself for a couple hours and can finish the laundry, do some writing, clean the kitchen, exercise."
I checked my email and went downstairs about an hour later and saw my son's lunch still sitting on the kitchen counter. In former days, I would have exploded and called my husband, yelling at him and accusing him of negligence. I can't say I didn't have some unkind thoughts about it, but I pulled another RI spot out of my tool kit and "dropped the judgment" against him (and myself for not reminding him to take it). But I still had to deliver the lunch and leave earlier for work than I originally planned. I decided to be group minded and call my husband and just drop off the lunch, but I felt impelled to rush, which is something RI teaches us to avoid, as it "leads to tenseness," which creates temper and symptoms.
Instead of driving like I was in the Indy 500 to the skating rink, I drove the speed limit and got there in about 15 minutes. I also arrived at work on time, which was amazing considering the traffic. But I still felt some tenseness and lowered tones. Luckily, I've learned in RI, that my symptoms (tenseness included) are "distressing but not dangerous" and they would disappear if I didn't attach any danger to them.
I know before attending RI meetings and learning the method, I would have blown up not only at my husband, but at myself as well. I would have been obnoxious the rest of the day, too. Whew, thank you Recovery, International.
Endorse, Nervous Girl, for a great piece of Recovery practice. These "boiler plate" trivialities can be plenty frustrating but you are learning how to effectively deal with them by using our Method. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteAll my best,
Cliff Brown