tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42144607667325902862024-03-08T05:10:08.075-08:00Nervous GirlLibrary Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-35612236581678341142021-07-04T13:06:00.003-07:002021-07-04T13:06:47.187-07:00The 4th of July--A great opportunity to bear the discomfort<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Wow, it's been almost a year since I last posted and so much has changed. A little over a week ago, I tripped while walking on the sidewalk and fractured my upper left arm. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">I'm trying to type this blog by using voice-to-text software and also typing with one hand: an interesting combination and a way to toughen my nervous fiber.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Because of the pandemic, many of us were able to avoid 4th of July gatherings last year. If you're anything like me, gatherings for holidays can create an environment in which symptoms explode like popcorn. </span></p><p><span id="final_span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; outline-width: 0px;">Later today, we are attending a small Fourth of July gathering at a relative's house. It will be held outside, and the complicating factor is that because I fractured my arm I'm still in a bit of pain and have to wear a sling, which makes me very warm. So now I have to sit outside on a patio all day where it will be pretty hot, and I will have to bear a lot of discomfort. I thought of some spots that might help me, which include "we can do the thing we fear and dread to do, complications don't make emergencies, and if we expect frustration every 5 minutes we won't be disappointed." </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">I may even bring a list of spots with me so that I can practice while I'm sitting there in the heat. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Another slight complication is that because one of the relatives is nervous about having people indoors, we can only go inside to use the restroom. So I can't even enjoy the air-conditioned house for a short time Saturday. They have a pool but I can't swim because of my arm, so I get to bear a lot of discomfort today and am trying to take the total view that it will only be a few hours versus the partial viewpoint of not being at home where I am more comfortable. Also another great spot for days like this where family gatherings are pretty much mandatory is that "domestic temper is the most common form of temper" and "I can remove myself from a temper provoking situation" even if it means I have to do so mentally.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">If you're observant, you'll notice that I used the word "comfort" a few times in this post. In RI, we learn that "comfort is a want not a need" and that "nervous fear is the fear of discomfort." So this is a great day for me to practice spotting and for toughening my nervous fiber. Also "we don't wait to get well to do things, we do things to get well." Even though I've been a Recovery member for more than 20 years I constantly need to remind myself of this. That's it for now. Wishing all of you a great 4th of July and an opportunity to practice your <a href="https://recoveryinternational.org/" target="_blank">RI</a> training.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">What are some spots you use on days like these? Please post any spots that help you below in the comments.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></p>Library Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-13100381594233745632020-08-11T13:19:00.007-07:002020-08-12T16:58:58.240-07:00Creativity, Exceptionalism, and Bearing the Discomfort<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;">Here's a topic I wrote about last year but is still relevant to my life. I've met so many creative people in RI meetings: musicians, writers, actors, and artists of all types. Many earned their living in creative fields, but many more were probably like me: dreaming of having some kind of creative career. I imagine they all had symptoms when putting their work into the world, which is something you have to do if you ever want to get published (or reach any type of audience). </span><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"><span face="">Years ago, before joining Recovery International, I never imagined a day when I'd even think about entering a writing contest. Even though I earned my B.A. degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing, I never submitted any of my writing anywhere. Ever. Between nervous symptoms and extreme doubt in my writing abilities based on instructors' opinions of my writing in undergraduate writing classes, I gave up on writing completely after graduating from college.</span><br />
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<span face="">A couple of months after joining RI, I drove by a local community college and had the impulse to enroll in a journalism class. Ever since high school, I had wanted to major in journalism in college, but fate steered me toward business, and when that flopped (and it did so in a big way), I took what seemed like the easier route as an English major. Heck, I loved reading, so what could go wrong? A lot, it seems, when you're taking a medieval English literature class. Or poetry interpretation. I gravitated toward the creative writing classes, mainly because it had been my second favorite class (second to journalism) in high school. </span></span><br />
<span face=""><span face=""><br /></span>So on that fateful August day more than 20 years ago, I signed up for a grammar class for journalism majors. Maybe if I could learn all the grammatical rules of writing, I could enter the journalism field as copy editor and never have to bear the discomfort of interviewing a single person. </span><br />
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<span face="">I loved the class. I loved it so much, I received an A (my first college A ever, I think). I became the college newspaper's copy editor for a few semesters, which was the most fun I ever had in college. </span></span><span face=""><span face=""> </span></span><br />
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<span face="">But creative writing? That was different. Sure, I could write a decent news feature piece and maybe even a human interest story. But a work of fiction? Once again, I put my pen away and followed more practical pursuits. Then, a few years after my son was born, I met a homeschooling mom who was a writer. Through her, I learned about an event called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I met a few more writing moms, and one year, I decided to participate.</span></span><br />
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<span face="">Writing a novel that no one but your closest family members will read is one thing, but trying to get a short story published by a magazine, exposing your "baby" to merciless editors who could care less about your feelings, is another. </span></span><br />
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<span face="">After writing and rewriting the same story several times, I submitted it to a flash fiction website. A few days later, I received the dreaded rejection letter (or in this case, email): a short note saying that they get lots of submissions and my story didn't get accepted for publication at this time. Ugh!</span></span><br />
<span face=""><span face=""><br /></span><span face="">I felt embarrassed and could feel tension creep into my shoulders and neck. I started to spot. Spotting the angry temper was easy. Of course I had angry temper at the editors of the site for not choosing my work (exceptionalism). But the fearful temper was even stronger. Doubt, shame, worry, embarrassment: all swirled in my brain. Talk about a threat to the social personality! Even though editors and their publications are outer environment, and we can't control it, at least I did "the thing I feared and dreaded to do." And I had "the courage to make a mistake" (several of them, if you really think about it).</span></span><br />
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<span face=""><span face="">But the most difficult things for me to untangle were the comparisons I made toward the people who did get published. How can I not compare? I know that "to compare is to despair" and "comparisons are odious and should be avoided." I have to work on not comparing my writing to other writers' stories. It's difficult to spot that outer approval is a want not a need because if you don't get the approval of an editor, you won't get published. Editors, publishers, publications, and readers are all outer environment. </span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""><span face=""><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""><span face="">We can't control it--no matter how beautifully we write, no matter how vivid our metaphors, no matter how active our verbs. Even the timing of who sees our writing is outer environment. And wanting to get your work published is a form of exceptionalism. Who wants to be an average writer (or painter or musician) or do an average job? Average doesn't get noticed in the creative world.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span face=""><span face="" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span face=""><span face="" style="font-size: x-large;">Since I first wrote this post in 2019, I've submitted other short stories to various contests and websites, all without success. I continue to spot the temper and the symptoms, which will only end if I decide to stop writing (and will bring up a whole new set of temper and symptoms). But I keep writing. And endorsing for my efforts. And if you've read this far, don't forget to endorse yourself, too.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span face=""><span face=""><br /></span></span><br />
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<br /></div>Library Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-83249882956222516862018-01-12T18:51:00.000-08:002018-01-12T18:51:32.566-08:00Food Choices, Food Addiction, and Using the RI Method<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">About three years ago, I wrote how the RI Method helped me to stop overeating in many situations. For about 16 years, not counting the time I was pregnant, I've maintained a 45 pound weight loss, followed by another 15 pound weight loss more recently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I decided to adopt a vegan diet in September of 2000, mainly for ethical reasons (being married to a vegan helped, too). As I read various books about veganism, I was shocked to learn how the vegetarian diet I had followed for several years did nothing to benefit the lives of farmed animals. Plus, I learned that a vegan diet also offered health benefits, specifically a whole food, plant-based (WFPB) vegan diet that eliminates processed foods such as flour, sugar, and oils.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">While I understood the benefits of embracing what's commonly called an "SOS-free" diet along, and steering away from refined food products, putting it into practice day in an out was difficult. I could eat this way for days or weeks until tempted by a vegan "treat." Yet I managed to stay at what I considered a decent weight for my height.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Over the years I studied this way of eating (WOE) more and more, and I learned that not only could a WFPB diet help me keep my weight in the normal range, but it could possibly help me eliminate or at least decrease what we in RI call nervous symptoms: depression, anxiety, wild mood swings -- all of these and more! Going vegan had helped ameliorate these, but they still interfered with daily functions and I had frequent setbacks. But along with regular exercise (a brisk walk) and practicing the Recovery Method, I might have a chance to eliminate those annoying nervous symptoms and function better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I slowly gave up eating highly refined foods, starting with processed oils. I learned how to cook without using any oil and minimizing my use of salt. I studied food plans that helped people go sugar, oil, and salt (SOS)-free. Some encouraged eating more complex carbohydrates, such as potatoes and rice, and others emphasized eating more leafy greens and non-starchy vegetables such as kale, broccoli, romaine lettuce, mushrooms, and some focused on adding nuts and seeds, but they all eliminated added oil and refined foods from the menu. They also strongly suggested either cutting out sugar or reducing its use.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I usually committed to one of these plans and followed it for days or weeks at a time, only to give into my cravings for sugary foods, usually soy lattes and chocolate or homemade baked treats. But even though I was still eating sugar once in a while (and sometimes more than once in while), I noticed that when I ate fewer refined foods, my nervous symptoms didn't interfere with my life quite as much. I still had lowered tones and anxiety, but the symptoms didn't get so bad that I couldn't function in daily life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In July of 2016, I joined a program known as UWL or "Ultimate Weight Loss." Run by two amazing people -- <a href="http://chefajwebsite.com/index.html" target="_blank">Chef AJ</a>, who is a vegan chef, author, and much more, and <a href="http://www.johnpierre.com/" target="_blank">John Pierre</a>, a fitness trainer to celebrities, author, and animal advocate -- this program promotes eating whole vegetables, fruits, grains, starchy vegetables, and legumes as well as regular exercise, meditation, and other healthy habits. I learned soon after joining that I am a caffeine and sugar addict. Yep, I had followed a vegan diet for years and even an oil-free diet, but it still included coffee, sugar, and salt. It took me more than a year, but I finally stopped drinking coffee and eating sugar except for what exists in whole fruits. Since then, I've increased my energy level and my mood has stabilized even more than in previous years. This program was able to help me eliminate the use of sugar, oil, salt, and refined food products when other programs, including well-known ones you've probably heard about in the media and Internet and make millions of dollars a year in sales, could not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I still use the Recovery Method every single day. Without it, I couldn't "do the things I fear and dread to do," like get up earlier in the day to exercise (move my muscles) or bear the discomfort of withdrawing from caffeine and sugar. I "control my muscles" when I feel tempted by a formerly favorite food product while shopping in the market and don't put the product in my cart, and I "remove myself from a temper provoking situation" by avoiding the aisles where these products are stocked. And when I have inevitably eaten a food that is not optimal for my goals, I spot the fearful temper and drop the judgment against myself for my own mental health.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Some people in UWL report that within days or a week of starting the program they have more energy and fewer headaches or whatever it is they're suffering from. I have to remind myself over and over that "comparisons are odious and should be avoided." For me, it took several months before I had enough energy to make it through the day without wanting to stop on the way home from work for a cup of coffee.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'd never tell anyone to give up coffee, sugar, oil, and salt, or whatever is they enjoy eating and drinking, but I do know that for me, stopping these products improved my nervous symptoms. It's up to you to decide what works best, but I'd suggest eliminating these products for at least 30 days to see if you have any improvement in your symptoms. At the very least, check out Chef AJ's<a href="http://chefajwebsite.com/ultimate-weight-loss-program.html" target="_blank"> Ultimate Weight Loss </a>page to see how the program works. Another program that people find helpful for weight loss but includes a tiny bit of sugar and salt is <a href="https://www.drmcdougall.com/" target="_blank">Dr. John McDougall's program</a>. He also promotes a WFPB diet and has many free resources on his website.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whatever you decide to do (remember: "decide, plan, and act"), endorse for reading this (it was longer than I planned) and for making a business of your mental health. Thank you for being group-minded enough to read this. I hope it helps you on your journey to good average mental health and great physical health!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">(P.S. - If you stumbled across this blog and have no idea what I mean by the "RI Method" or the Recovery program, please visit <a href="https://www.recoveryinternational.org/" target="_blank">Recovery International</a> for a comprehensive explanation of the program.)</span>Library Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-83645918334999477922016-06-20T15:34:00.001-07:002016-06-21T20:30:31.138-07:00Is it Nervous or Is it Physical?<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When I attended my first Recovery International meeting years ago, I was told that members give examples about nervous and physical symptoms that arise in relation to a nervous condition (i.e., depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc.). Even if I had a headache I could spot it was distressing but not dangerous if it was the result of getting worked up over a triviality. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Over the years, I've been fortunate enough to avoid any serious physical illnesses or ailments. However, in the last month or two, I've had some physical symptoms that could be nervous or could be truly physical in nature. I've been to the doctor a few times and she ordered some tests. Two of the tests I've completed so far turned out normal, which is wonderful. I have another test coming up soon. In the meantime, I find myself obsessing about what could be causing my symptoms. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When I first started experiencing these symptoms, I attended a few RI meetings (always good to do whether or not I have any symptoms). The members offered helpful spots to deal with the symptoms I was experiencing. At home, I skimmed the book <i>Selections</i> after we read it at one of the meetings. It's chock full of wonderful RI spots and philosophies, and I read a few chapters several times, gleaning what I could in relation to my symptoms. I wrote about 15 short passages on Post-It notes, which I then taped to a blank piece of paper and put it on the wall next to my bed so I could read them when I go to bed at night and wake in the morning. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I found I was engaging in a lot of self-diagnosing. It's funny, but when I first came to an RI meeting, almost all of my symptoms were emotional. Over the years, I've had very few physical symptoms, and those I did have were transient. I never really did much self-diagnosing then (other than "I think I'm going crazy"). But this time, I have physical symptoms and virtually no emotional symptoms. No lowered tones, no anger, no fearful thoughts (other than those surrounding the symptoms), no feelings of unreality, no panic. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But regardless of the nature of my symptoms, I can spot that they're distressing but not dangerous (after all, I've had them for more than a month and I'm still around, so even if there's a medical problem, it's not dangerous), they're phasic and not basic, I can function with them, and to know is not to know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Soon, I'll know whether or not my symptoms are nervous or not (or both), and until then, I can wait with reflective calm. I'm so very lucky to have stumbled upon this method years ago, and I wish more people knew about it so they could gain inner peace in their lives. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Library Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-20178729823528353212015-07-03T16:48:00.002-07:002015-07-03T16:50:52.132-07:00Ideas and the Recovery MethodIt's been so long since I've posted here, but I'm still around. Sometimes I have an experience I think I should share here, but then I get busy and forget about it, and then when I think about it again, it seems too trivial to post here at all. But I guess that's the point about the RI Method: dealing with trivialities we experience on a daily basis. And boy, do I have my share of them as do we all.<br />
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I'm still going to post about how I use the RI Method in my daily life, but I'm focusing on writing essays and incorporating how I use Recovery in the situations about which I'm writing. I suppose I've already been doing that at least some of the time, but I don't just want to post a list of spots as if I'm giving an example, because that's not my main goal of this blog.<br />
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My goal or mission is to show the world how the Recovery Method works for all types of trivial, daily situations and even some not so trivial situations, too. I hope this will encourage people with all types of emotional difficulties to explore the RI Method and attend meetings, either in person, over the telephone, or online.<br />
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So look out for my next post sometime in the next week. And I want to wish everyone a great Fourth of July and endorse for all the efforts you make this weekend.Library Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17663196410118996715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-40318400551582690152013-09-26T16:58:00.000-07:002013-09-26T18:08:30.720-07:00Low meeting attendance -- is it average?<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Lately, the attendance at my meeting has dropped. When I started my meeting, about 6 to 8 people attended. During the summer attendance dropped, but it increased again around Thanksgiving.</span></div><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This past year the pattern has remained the same -- sort of, anyway. Last night at my meeting, no one attended except me. I sat in the room, listening to the sound of silence and the occasional chirp of a cricket. After half an hour, I decided to go home. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As I drove home, I had fearful thoughts. Maybe people didn't like my meetings, maybe the meetings were boring or I was boring, or they liked the other local meeting that takes place on a different night, or . . . and so on.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then I decided to come up with secure thoughts, thinking back to meetings I've attended for the last fourteen years. Attendance always ebbed and flowed, depending on the time of year (holidays, summer, spring break), the weather (too windy, too rainy, too hot), or any number of other variables in the outer environment. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I realized that fluctuation in attendance is average, that if I expect to be frustrated by it, I won't be disappointed, and that the people who attend my meeting are outer environment. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If this had happened before I started using the RI method, I would have felt terrible about no one showing up at my meeting (or other event for which I was responsible), working it up for days until I got depressed and angry. Now, I think it is average and that I can decide to close my meeting if attendance remains low or try advertising to increase attendance, but at least I know there is no danger.</span><br />
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<dl id="foter-photo-figure" class="wp-caption foter-photo" style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136); position: relative; font-size: 11px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; overflow: hidden; zoom: 1; padding: 4px; border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; width: 325px; float: left; margin: 5px 20px 10px 0px;"><dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a href="http://foter.com/re/e92038"><img class="foter-photo mceItem" src="http://photos.foter.com/63/done-for-the-season_l.jpg" style="display: block; width: 100%;"></a></dt><dd class="wp-caption-dd" style="padding:0;margin:0;"><span style="display: block; float: right;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewmorrell/54069752/">Andrew Morrell Photography</a> / <a href="http://foter.com/">Foter</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span></dd></dl>Photo credit: Andrew Morrell Photography / Foter / CC BY-NDUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-55854384834757062912013-06-08T00:51:00.000-07:002013-06-08T00:51:17.134-07:00Getting well means getting things doneIt's been ages since I posted here, but that's because I've been busy. I've thought about posting here and about what I might want to post, but I never got around to actually writing about anything. But now it's past midnight and I've got a million other things to do, so what do I do? Post something here.
This past year has probably been one of the busiest years I've had since I first started attending RI meetings in 1999. I can't believe it's been 14 years. I'm working more hours now than I have since before I began RI (for a few years I didn't work at all, just attended RI meetings -- sometimes that is the best thing a person with severe nervous symptoms can do for herself or himself).
Since graduating with a master's degree and starting part-time work, I've gone from working 5 hours a week to working 12 to 16 hours a week. My son is almost ten and he keeps me working, too. We just spent a day at the park with our homeschooling friends and I didn't get home till after 6:30 p.m. Then it was on to making dinner, reading, and bedtime. I then spent an hour responding to emails and sending emails for various responsibilities I have.
And now I'm thinking of applying for a full-time job. Jobs in my field evaporated in 2007 (the year I graduated, of course), so when I saw a job listing last week for something that looked viable, I started thinking I might have a chance even if 50 other qualified people also apply.
I've also taken online creative writing classes for the past few years, and now I spend time journaling and writing short stories.
Long ago, perhaps at my first or second meeting, I heard someone say, "We don't wait to get well to do things, we do things to get well." I pondered the meaning of that for a long time. I wondered how I could do things without getting well first. It took me a while, but I realized I was using backward logic. If I sat around waiting to get better, I'd never get better. If I did things, ignoring my symptoms or spotting on them so they didn't work me up, I proved to myself that I could do things and then did more and more things until I functioned. I still have symptoms, but I spot on them and don't give in to what Dr. Low called the "defeatist babble of the brain."
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-54174640740860124952012-05-23T01:29:00.001-07:002012-05-23T01:32:44.671-07:00Making mistakes and the courage it takesRecently, I posted about people I've either met at meetings or in my personal life who insist that their symptoms are far worse than mine and use that as an excuse to tell me why RI wouldn't help them. After I had posted it, I realized I made a mistake and that it could be hurtful to those people and so deleted it. Instead, I'd like to offer encouragement to anyone who feels that they could not be helped by RI because it seems too "simple" or "easy" and uncomplicated in today's world of complicated solutions to our problems or that it's not working quickly enough for them.
For many years I attended a meeting led by a very dear woman who often spotted at meetings that "Recovery is simple, but not easy." What that meant to me is that though the method itself is uncomplicated, it is not easy to spot on our symptoms because it requires a certain type of introspection that can be painful. It can be difficult to admit that our symptoms are average and that they aren't dangerous because some of us were told for many years either by professionals or friends or society that our symptoms are dangerous, that we should find a way to get rid of them immediately and if they come back, that's bad news. When attending our first RI meeting, we hear that "symptoms are distressing but not dangerous" and that "they'll rise and fall and run their course if we don't attach danger to them." We might hear that we are taking ourselves a little too seriously and think, "But my problems are serious, my symptoms are dangerous, and if they don't stop, I'll (fill in the blank with any number of desperate measures)." Basically, at our first meeting we might experience a challenge to our ideas of how the world is supposed to be. RI challenges us to change the way we think, to change our thoughts about ourselves and how we see the world. That can be scary, but it's worth it in order to reduce our symptoms to the point where we can not only solve our own problems and be what Dr. Low called "self-led" but we can change our thoughts and ultimately change our lives.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-29808859059043541432012-03-31T12:08:00.001-07:002013-09-26T17:55:40.337-07:00RI and OvereatingI started this post a while ago, but recently decided to overhaul my diet. I know I am not the first person to use RI to help control my eating habits, but I rarely hear anyone talk about it at a meeting, so I thought I'd share my ideas here.<br />
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When I started attending Recovery meetings, I was at least 40 pounds overweight. I overate because of depression and anxiety and also as a result of the side effects of some medication. I wasn't exactly moving my muscles, either. <br />
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After attending RI meetings for a month or so, I found myself in another program's meeting. At the break, a box of cheap cookies sat on the table next to the coffee. I eyed it. They weren't my favorite kind (oatmeal with icing), but suddenly, I felt hungry. I started to reach my hand toward the box and then I realized that I could control my muscles and not take the cookie. I could bear the discomfort of not eating the cookie. There was no danger if I did not eat that cookie, which I really didn't like in the first place. <br />
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I applied this idea to many other eating situations. It worked. I also started moving my muscles more often and began to lose weight. I changed my diet further, and that helped, too. It took several years, but I lost about 40 to 45 pounds (I stopped weighing myself at a certain point but am certain I gained more afterward). <br />
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So, if you are dieting and trying to stop eating foods that you know to be unhealthy or fattening, look at some the Recovery tools you already use for other situations. I'm not saying these will help with an eating disorder, but these tools are very effective for controlling those overeating muscles.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-14188199731408343142012-03-28T16:23:00.003-07:002012-03-28T16:42:19.668-07:00Attention NewcomersHi. It's been a while since I last posted anything here. I've been busy with work, married life, child rearing, etc. This in itself is amazing because when I started attending RI meetings almost 13 years ago, I didn't have anything to keep me busy.<br /><br />I was recently married but my nervous symptoms interfered with the harmony at home. Shortly after getting married, I had a pretty bad setback that preceded a short hospitalization. My hubby and I were arguing a lot of the time, too. <br /><br />Enter RI. A friend of mine tried it and claimed she wasn't having as many problems with angry outbursts. So I attended a meeting.<br /><br />I hated it. That's right. I thought it was ridiculous. Nothing I heard made sense to me. What was this "angry temper" and "fearful temper" these people were talking about? What was spotting? To make matters worse, no one would answer my questions. They made me wait till the end of the meeting, and even then, I didn't get satisfactory answers. I was told to attend more meetings. The nerve.<br /><br />Then I had my "setback," although that's not what I called it. But sitting on the hospital bed one day (or night) I realized that RI was my last chance. So I took it.<br /><br />I attended meetings three or four times a week, sometimes more if I could (after all, I had nothing else to do, being unable to work). This was before spot sheets were allowed, so I learned the spots by repeating other people's spots. And I read the book as if it was the best thing ever written. And to me, it was. I underlined everything that applied to me, over and over again, and wrote notes in the margins. I still have the book. In some places, it is hard to read the printed words because of all the highlighting, underlining, and note taking I did. <br /><br />The gist of all this? Keep coming back to meetings even if they bore you, you don't understand the format or the Recovery language, you're too tired, too scared, too depressed. Please keep attending meetings, as many as you can each week, at least for a month, maybe longer. Buy the books and read them: "Mental Health Through Will Training," "Selections," and "Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger." These three books replaced all the self-help books I bought in the previous decade. I still don't buy self-help books because everything I need is in these three. Go online. Join a chat or online meeting. Post an example on the discussion board. Go for it. You never know: you might end up with a whole new life, or at least a better one.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-12776509138354806502011-05-13T23:39:00.001-07:002011-05-13T23:56:37.211-07:00Late Night Recovery PracticeYikes. I noticed I haven't posted here in a l-o-n-g time. I've thought about it from time to time and didn't feel I had anything meaningful to say, but then again, if I wait for something <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> think is meaningful, <br />I'll never post or write anything. Perhaps I feel my writing should be exceptional but isn't even average. <br /><br />I attended a meeting earlier tonight. I don't go to this one too often because it's right around dinner time on a Friday night and it's hard to break free from my family, but I also need to make a business of my mental health (for without it, I might not have a family). As it turned out, the meeting was exactly what I needed.<br /><br />However, when I arrived at home, my husband seemed a bit upset and my child, a bit needy. I gave my child a bath and then we brushed the teeth. Afterward, we read in bed for a while. I called my mother, hoping my kid would actually fall asleep if I took long enough, but alas, that did not happen, so I spent the next 45 minutes or so in the bedroom waiting for sleep to descend upon one of us and thankfully, it didn't descend upon me.<br /><br />I was hoping my husband would want to watch a DVD with me or spend a little quality time or at least chat a bit, but instead he wanted to snooze, not shmooze. And that is when I began to work myself up. I won't go over every single thought that ran through my head, but I did feel quite a bit sorry for myself and all alone in the house. I thought I'd sit in bed and read a book, but I couldn't settle myself. Then I saw the pile of clean yet still unfolded laundry in my bedroom and started to fold it, but that wasn't soothing, to say the least. <br /><br />At last I started thinking and spotting. I remembered the chapter on sabotaging sleep in the book "Mental Health Through Will-Training." I realized that the word insomnia could be considered temperamental lingo and that if I decided to stay up and fold laundry for a while, of even go online and got less sleep than I had planned and hoped for, it would be distressing but not dangerous. Of course, I could also see the angry temper I had at my spouse for "abandoning me" (more temperamental lingo flitting through my mind) and fearful temper at making an irresponsible decision by staying up later than I should, but I dropped the judgment on both counts.<br /><br />So here I am, rattling and prattling on and on about it. My hubby still snoozes on the couch and I'm typing up a storm, but we're both happy. Thank you, Dr. Low and the Recovery Method for saving another person from marital strife and a sleepless night.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-52684639170763124952010-08-24T18:42:00.000-07:002010-08-24T19:08:47.091-07:00Unusual Circumstances require a meetingIt's been a while, but I'm still around -- just really busy. I guess it's good to be busy because it gives me the chance to practice objectivity. Or at least it's a distraction from what I'm really upset about. <br />So I've had a few events of what we in RI might call "unusual circumstances." I really never found a specific definition of this term. If I had one of my books with me right now, I'd look it up and I apologize in advance for being so vague about it. In my mind, however, unusual circumstances means events that are still trivialities but might not be average everyday occurrences for every single person. For instance, if I have the flu, it's a triviality but still, I don't have the flu every day. <br />I'll get to the point: so I had some circumstances that to me seemed unusual but not in the realm of the nontriviality. A few people I know were ill and then I had a personal disappointment. I started feeling lowered tones and getting irritable and a little panicky, too. I wanted to avoid letting these symptoms turn into a vicious cycle, so I decided to go to a meeting.<br />When I walked in the meeting room, several people had already gathered in a circle of chairs. Many of them were familiar faces. It wasn't my usual meeting, although I used to attend it regularly before starting my own meeting. After a few minutes of sitting there, I started to feel better. Giving my own example helped a lot, but listening to the other examples and spotting on those really helped me by becoming more objective. It's so much easier to see temper in someone else than in yourself, but then you find the spots apply to your circumstances -- usual or unusual -- as well.<br />By the end of the meeting, my lowered tones had vanished and along with it, my irritability as well. I still had to cope with some of the unusual circumstances, but they no longer felt as burdensome.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-19394974419669355822010-07-06T17:15:00.000-07:002010-07-06T17:41:09.071-07:00Eleventh Year AnniversaryLast May marked the eleventh anniversary of the first Recovery International meeting I attended. Back then, the name of the program was called Recovery, Incorporated. I only attended one meeting in May 1999 and didn't come back again until June of the same year. It took me a while to realize that the tools of Recovery could really help me and that I was not a hopeless case.<br /><br />That May, I had experienced a relapse of my nervous symptoms. My symptoms included anxiety, panic attacks, mood swings from deep depression (including suicidal symptoms) and hostile outbursts. I could not keep a job for more than a few weeks at a time. During the year prior to my first RI meeting, I had been hospitalized several times (I lost count but it was at least five times) for the above symptoms and even had ECT. After ECT, I felt marginally better and even started dating (I later married the man I was dating), but by May whatever relief I had received from the ECT had faded and I was just as depressed, anxious, and suicidal as before.<br /><br />A friend from another support group was attending RI meetings and her improvement encouraged me to attend a meeting with her. The problem was, I was so distracted by my symptoms, I had no idea what was going on. (As a leader now, I share this experience with new members who sometimes express their frustration about not understanding the method.) Later that month, I had a relapse and ended up in the hospital for three days. While I was in the hospital, I decided to try RI one more time. Within a week of attending my second meeting, I was able to use the spots I had learned and work down my temper and symptoms. <br /><br />Since then I've attended meetings regularly for eleven years. For the first two years, I probably attended five to six meetings a week, mostly with the friend who took me to my first meeting and also with my husband. My attendance slowed down a bit after the birth of my son in 2004 and now I lead a local meeting.<br /><br />Luckily, there are now several online meetings and phone meetings, too, that I can attend should I feel the need to step up my attendance. I hope that anyone reading this who has not attended a RI meeting will sign up for the chat room right now and learn all you can about RI. "Do the thing you fear and dread to do" and "make a business of your mental health." Thanks, RI, for a wonderful eleven years.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-21593123898660383092010-04-27T18:35:00.000-07:002013-09-26T17:56:31.537-07:00When it's hard to spot your temperAbout 10 months ago, I wrote here about trying to conceive (TTC). I realized it's not a triviality, but it I thought the Recovery Method could help me with the nervous symptoms it generated.<br />
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Now, I still am TTC with no success. And recently, I had another disappointment. Needless to say, I was worked up, depressed, discouraged. A friend who knows I'm in this program told me to spot, but I just couldn't. Everything just seemed bleak to me.<br />
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For three days, I really felt hopeless about the situation. I realized three days is not a long time to feel bad, but since I've been in Recovery, it's been a long time since I've had three solid days of feeling so rotten.<br />
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Then I woke up today and felt okay. I could see a ray of light was starting to penetrate the gloom (how's that for tempermental lingo?). Now, I can finally spot on my symptoms and even on the situation itself. I really believe that because of my Recovery training, the symptoms lasted a shorter time and had less of an impact on my behavior. I'm so glad that I didn't give up and give in to the symptoms for very long.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-53408748474888658072010-03-30T16:52:00.000-07:002010-03-30T17:36:24.022-07:00Rediscovering an RI toolRecently, I've been listening to my collection of audio tapes of the book "Manage your Fears, Manage Your Anger." My husband started listening to them last week after a long hiatus away from the program. I used to listen to them from time to time, but they had gathered quite a bit of dust on the lower shelf of a organizing unit in my bedroom. <br /><br />Unfortunately, when I bought the tapes more than eight years ago, they weren't on CD. Now, however, they are on CD and RI recorded more than two chapters on most of them, so you don't have to buy so many. My husband called headquarters today and they told him that they just transferred the tapes to the CD format, which means that they're still the original taped lectures given by Dr. Low in the 1950s. Every time I listen to a tape, if I close my eyes (which I don't do if I'm listening to the tapes while I'm driving) I can imagine sitting in the audience in a lecture hall in Chicago almost 60 years ago with Dr. Low at the front of the room, speaking to the group. On some of the tapes, you can even hear automobile horns honking outside the building as Dr. Low is speaking. You can get a real sense of the personality and character of the man just by listening to these lectures.<br /><br />I think it's great that Recovery International still sells these original recordings to its members. Even if you can't buy the whole series, I think it's worth it just to buy one or two of the CDs so you can experience the program at another level.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-6627205355723028272010-03-09T19:00:00.000-08:002010-03-09T19:11:31.339-08:00Decisions and symptomsWe were invited to go on a camping trip with a group of families we know. I haven't been camping much (only once since staring a family) and this particular trip would take us outside the realm of modern plumbing and running water. I had a few reservations about going and agonized over it for several days. To top it off, we were invited to two other events that same weekend. <br /> I am terrible about making decisions. I've struggled over decisions about what job to apply for, what job offer to take should I get offered another job later, what to eat for dinner, whether or not to eat dinner, what to wear to a party -- pretty much any decision anyone has had to make at one time or another. Big and little decisions alike throw me aback and cause me to shudder.<br /> Since attending my first Recovery meeting more than 10 years ago, decision making -- while still not on the list of my top 10 things to do -- has become a lot easier. Sometimes I just decide to "do the thing I fear and dread to do," like going camping without access to a flush toilet and running water, and sometimes I "decide, plan and act." Sometimes I just have to bear the discomfort and be group-minded toward my son, who really wants to go camping with his friends and doesn't care about running water. Taking things in part acts really helps me when I have to make major decisions. And if I spot "to know is not to know," I relieve myself of the responsibility of trying to predict the outcome of a decision years into the future.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-31514010079524138782010-01-10T13:40:00.000-08:002010-01-10T13:59:30.313-08:00So much has happened since the last time I blogged. First of all, happy New Year to everyone out there. If you've never attended a RI meeting but set a resolution to improve your mental health this year, an RI meeting is a great place to learn new coping skills and get the support you need to help yourself. At RI, you'll meet non-judgmental people, all of whom have experienced some type of mental illness or symptoms that interfered with their ability to function in the world. Whether they suffered from what's commonly referred to as "garden variety" nervous symptoms or an illness with label such as "major depression," "bipolar disorder," or "social anxiety disorder," everyone is welcome.<br /><br />At RI meetings, we don't focus on labels but rather on the everyday events, or trivialities, that upset us. I remember at my first meeting, sharing my particular label and nobody blinked an eye. The meeting wasn't about who was the most ill or had the most complex diagnosis. Instead, it was about learning specific tools that would help us alleviate our nervous symptoms, regardless of their cause.<br /><br />What really threw me off, however, was that instead of a group of sad-faced, frowning, bitter people sitting in chairs around a circle, people were laughing -- at themselves, of all things. They had learned not to take themselves so seriously. All my life, I had the inability to laugh at my mistakes or my thoughts. If anyone, including my friends, laughed at me, I took it as a great offense. They must hate me, I would think. I never realized I was supposed to laugh along with them. We all make mistakes, and I knew that, but to laugh at them? Never. Not until I attended my first RI meeting did I learn of the healing power of humor.<br /><br />Today, I'm having a pretty bad day. I feel tired and want to eat a lot of chocolate and sleep. Instead of pampering my feelings and giving in to my impulses of wanting to go back to bed and sleep (notice I didn't mention anything about not eating chocolate), I'm moving my muscles and, most importantly, I'm not taking my symptoms too seriously. Without the training I gained by attending RI meetings, I'd be immobilized by my symptoms. So I urge anyone who is still immobilized by their symptoms to attend a RI meeting, either in person or by phone, or visit the chat room, and start on the road to mental health and well being today.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-61848666418644444722009-11-19T16:55:00.000-08:002009-11-19T17:12:29.679-08:00A Brisk WalkDuring this time of the year, whenever a person goes into a supermarket or store he or she is sure to find a crowd of people rushing around buying food or gifts for the holidays. For me, it is the worst time of the year to go shopping because crowded places seem to bring out my symptoms like nothing else, especially when I have lowered tones.<br /><br />I already felt the lowered tones coming on and my mind was filled with some dark thoughts, and I really did not want to go to the market today, but I needed some frozen broccoli and some other stuff, so I drove to the store after work. The parking lot was full and the market was crowded. But I practiced objectivity and found the items I needed without any trouble. I had put a banana on the top of some other items in the front of my cart and while I was walking through the vitamin section, it fell off and landed on the floor. When I stopped to pick it up, a women behind me almost crashed into me. I said, not too kindly, "I need to stop and pick this up unless you want to step on it and slip." I don't think she heard me, but I felt I had perhaps entered symbolic victory territory.<br /><br />On the drive home, I reflected on this (a little reviewing and previewing, maybe) and how cruddy I felt. Then I realized I had not exercised all week. I take a walking class on Mondays, but it was canceled this Monday and I hadn't gone for a walk all week. So, after I finished some of my chores at home, I took a brisk walk. The advice to take a brisk walk appears in many of the books we read at Recovery International meetings. After a few minutes on my walk, I started to feel better and felt my mind clear. <br /><br />Recent scientific research has proven what Dr. Low knew many years ago: that exercise can help lift the symptoms of mild and moderate depression. So if you have lowered tones or other nervous symptoms, don't forget about the brisk walk. It can be a walk or run, yoga, a bike ride, or whatever other exercise you enjoy and it may help enough so that you can start spotting again.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-5316878944088120882009-10-27T16:19:00.000-07:002009-10-27T17:08:17.387-07:00Setbacks are average; meetings are the antidoteIn my last post, I wrote about how wonderful things are when life is boring. And by boring, I meant having few or no nervous symptoms such as lowered tones, fearful and racing thoughts, fiery imagination and all the other fun symptoms that I experienced and eventually led me to Recovery International.<br /><br />Well, I'm so thrilled that my life is no longer boring and I am in some kind of setback. It was so bad yesterday, I almost called my psychiatrist -- whom I haven't seen for almost a year -- and made an appointment. Instead of doing that, I should have considered attending a RI meeting.<br /><br />When I started RI, I probably attended a meeting five or six times a week for about a year. After that first year, I still attended at least three meetings a week for quite a while. I did this for two reasons -- first, my symptoms were so acute, I wanted to go to meetings because they really helped me and second, because my symptoms were so acute, I couldn't work or do much of anything else except attend RI meetings.<br /><br />Flash forward 10 and half years and my life is totally different. Because of RI, I have obliterated many of the nervous symptoms that once bombarded me like a hail storm. I still have nervous symptoms, but they are milder and shorter acting. Dr. Low talks about his when describing nervous patients versus nervous persons. I'm not categorizing myself, but I do think I've made much progress toward becoming a nervous person.<br /><br />The irony, however, is that in improving my mental health and reducing my nervous symptoms, I've also improved my life to the point where I can work, take care of my family and even have some semblance of a normal social life, which then leaves less time for meetings. After a while, I start having more symptoms. <br /><br />So the antidote to my setback is to attend more meetings and, failing that, post more examples on the forum. How simple. Thank you, Recovery International, once again for reminding me to make a business of my mental health.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-55621561167357467872009-10-13T18:34:00.001-07:002009-10-13T18:45:31.124-07:00Boring is okayWhen I signed in to my blog today, I realized how long it's been since I last posted. My life has been pretty routine and, some might say, boring, but that is okay with me. Before I started the Recovery International program, I longed for excitement. But what I really craved were the thrills and chills of temper. Unfortunately, those thrills and chills came with some undesirable side effects in the form of nervous symptoms, including depression, anxiety, panic attacks, irritability. Boy, though, did I have a lot to talk (or should I say complain?) about. <br /><br />Then there was the imagination on fire. If I was really bored, I'd start imagining all the things that could go wrong with my life or with the world. I have to admit, I still engage my imagination, but when I start to get carried away, I bring myself back to reality by spotting. <br /><br />Today, instead of looking forward to a lifetime of nervous symptoms or to unrealistic expectations of thrilling excitement, I look forward to the average activities of daily life. This afternoon, I found myself in the kitchen making a salad, a vegetable soup, and baked tofu all at the same time. That was enough excitement for me. And instead of vanity, I felt the realistic pride of taking care of myself and my family by feeding them healthy food that they would enjoy eating. <br /><br />This reminds me of the spot that "Recovery stands for realism, good common sense, and an unspoiled way of looking at (or viewing) life." I hope everyone has a great week and endorses for all the efforts they make.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-60589634264761040392009-09-26T23:23:00.000-07:002009-09-26T23:41:15.274-07:00Sabotage or setback?It's late at night and I should be asleep, not typing this, but I've wanted to get back to this for a while. <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago, while reading PasUneSainte's blog, I found myself nodding along with the description of comparing oneself to others and "coming out on the losing end." I have angry temper, too, but mostly fearful temper. In the last few weeks, whether I'm at work or writing or posting an entry on a discussion board, I find myself looking at how many people are asking me questions (at work) or how successful and talented other writers are, or how many people are responding to my posts compared to other posts, or how soon people reply to my emails.<br /><br />For me, comparing myself with others results in a great big wave of fearful temper filling me up like fast running water overfilling a glass pitcher. But in Recovery, we learn that "comparisons are odious and should be avoided." I keep imagining that everyone has conspired against me because they think I'm defective in some way, that something I've written or said or done has offended them or isn't acceptable.<br /><br />These are the very thoughts that plagued me before I joined Recovery. I know now that I'm just indulging in the favorite pastime of the nervous person -- let's all say it together now -- "self torture." And I'm indulging in the thrills and chills of temper and filling my imagination with insecure thoughts. I want, as most nervous people do, to "be exceptional" but instead I fear I'm not even average.<br /><br />How do I quell these thoughts? I use the Recovery training I've so graciously been given by all the Recovery members who have come before me. I choose secure thoughts and realize that I do not know what others are thinking about me (or not thinking).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-52458975395590124172009-09-15T16:18:00.000-07:002009-09-15T16:39:32.473-07:00Late to work - at least I have a jobThis morning, I overslept. I don't usually work on Tuesday morning, but I covered for someone else at work, so I had to be there at 10:30 a.m. I rushed to get ready for work (never a good idea, as "rushing leads to tenseness") and arrived at the college where I work 10 minutes early, but then I couldn't find any parking in the staff lot. <br /><br />I drove in circles, up one level and then the next. All the spots in the staff lot were full and I had to turn around in one of the crowded aisles. I'm not sure at which point I worked myself up, but I think it might have been then. I exited the staff lot and drove to the student lot. As I wound my way up the parking structure, I felt myself getting tense and I kept thinking, "Why isn't there more parking for faculty and staff members? Why are there so many people here today, it's the third week of class?" and "I'm going to be late even though I was here on time; why didn't I try to get here earlier?"<br /><br />I didn't spot then, but when I got out of the car, I felt myself wanting to run to work. My RI training kicked in and I remembered that rushing leads to tenseness and I commanded my muscles to slowly walk to the elevator and then to work. I had fearful temper because I hadn't left earlier for work and angry temper at the overcrowded parking situation. I endorsed for slowing down and not rushing to work even though I knew I was already 10 minutes late.<br /><br />Before RI, I would have not even had a job such as this. I was always late to work, even when I could find parking. I would have run to work from the parking lot and been upset when I got there. It would have sent me into a panic and ruined my day.<br /><br />I know this is an example and I'm not asking for spots here (although you are welcome to spot if you want as it helps). My point in posting this is that I want others to see (and I'm hoping some new or non-Recoveryites are out there) that RI helps us manage the symptoms we get when faced with these annoying inconveniences of daily life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-10032670156044455602009-09-01T18:18:00.000-07:002009-09-01T18:47:48.604-07:00Reminder SymptomsI can't believe I will celebrate a birthday soon and mark more than 10 years of Recovery training as well in just a few days. When I came into Recovery in June 1999 I was overweight, chronically depressed, anxious and irritable. Each day, I took several medications for these and other nervous symptoms. I didn't think life had anything good in store for me and each day passed in a bland sort of misery.<br /><br />In the last 10 years, my life has improved in untold ways, mainly because of what I've learned in all those Recovery meetings I've attended plus the Recovery books and from the wisdom of the veteran members, those I've met and those from the early days of RI. And most of my days now are almost symptom free, or if I have symptoms, I spot on them and they're gone.<br /><br />Sometimes, though, they hang on and right now is one of those times. I'm going through some unusual events, which probably accounts for their tenacity. In RI, we learn that what's experienced seems worse than what's remembered, so if I have symptoms now, they seem worse than the ones I had years ago, even if they're mild now. Another secure thought I like is that return of the symtoms doesn't mean a return of the illness (I didn't put this in quotes because I don't have the book in front of me and didn't want to misquote it, but I've heard and seen several variations of it in meetings and in the books).<br /><br />So I'll keep endorsing for my efforts, attend meetings, spot my temper, and practice, practice, practice.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-74012737507604543632009-08-27T14:48:00.000-07:002009-08-28T09:02:49.632-07:00"The Wisdom of Dr. Low"I just purchased a copy of the latest RI book, "The Wisdom of Dr. Low: Words to Live By." This great resource has frequently-used and not so frequently used spots and quotations heard at Recovery meetings from four of Dr. Low's books. So, while at a meeting you might hear someone spot "the passion for self-distrust," you can open the book to the section on averageness, and read the sentences that precede it and put it into context. Plus, it gives readers the book and page from which the quotation originates. It also has quotes from "My Dear Ones," a biography about Dr. Low written by Neil and Margaret Rau.<br /><br />Whether you are new to Recovery or a veteran member, this resource is great because it organizes the quotations by topic, including averageness, beliefs, depression, obsessions, panic, self-diagnosis, self-help, sleep, temper, and trivialities, just to name a few. And it gives members insight into the program. I'd suggest that anyone who wants a refresher on the program or just wants to read a quote a day from Dr. Low get a copy of this book. Of course, it's not a substitute for reading the books themselves as the books are rich with the philosophy of the method as well as numerous examples of how it can be applied.<br /><br /><br />Long-time RI member, Cliff Brown, helped compile the various quotations that comprise the book. Thanks Cliff, for all your work on this.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214460766732590286.post-59736475128656185592009-08-25T16:19:00.001-07:002009-08-25T16:40:21.779-07:00Trivialities that used to make me fall apartToday started out great. I got to sleep in until 9 a.m. I had a fairly peaceful morning with my son, who finally got enough sleep himself to be agreeable and let me brush his teeth and dress him for a field trip to an ice skating rink he was going to later in the day with his father. He even asked for oatmeal this morning for breakfast and ate most of it.<br /><br />Well, I have to expect to be disappointed or expect frustration, right? That's an important RI principle. I should have been expecting a load of frustration, but I went along blithely, expecting nothing but ease and comfort. Ha!<br /><br />My husband had to call the computer company to once again report that our brand new computer doesn't work. That took time, so my son and husband left almost an hour later than scheduled. They left and I sighed and thought, "Now I have the house to myself for a couple hours and can finish the laundry, do some writing, clean the kitchen, exercise." <br /><br />I checked my email and went downstairs about an hour later and saw my son's lunch still sitting on the kitchen counter. In former days, I would have exploded and called my husband, yelling at him and accusing him of negligence. I can't say I didn't have some unkind thoughts about it, but I pulled another RI spot out of my tool kit and "dropped the judgment" against him (and myself for not reminding him to take it). But I still had to deliver the lunch and leave earlier for work than I originally planned. I decided to be group minded and call my husband and just drop off the lunch, but I felt impelled to rush, which is something RI teaches us to avoid, as it "leads to tenseness," which creates temper and symptoms.<br /><br />Instead of driving like I was in the Indy 500 to the skating rink, I drove the speed limit and got there in about 15 minutes. I also arrived at work on time, which was amazing considering the traffic. But I still felt some tenseness and lowered tones. Luckily, I've learned in RI, that my symptoms (tenseness included) are "distressing but not dangerous" and they would disappear if I didn't attach any danger to them.<br /><br />I know before attending RI meetings and learning the method, I would have blown up not only at my husband, but at myself as well. I would have been obnoxious the rest of the day, too. Whew, thank you Recovery, International.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1