Setbacks are average; meetings are the antidote

In my last post, I wrote about how wonderful things are when life is boring. And by boring, I meant having few or no nervous symptoms such as lowered tones, fearful and racing thoughts, fiery imagination and all the other fun symptoms that I experienced and eventually led me to Recovery International.

Well, I'm so thrilled that my life is no longer boring and I am in some kind of setback. It was so bad yesterday, I almost called my psychiatrist -- whom I haven't seen for almost a year -- and made an appointment. Instead of doing that, I should have considered attending a RI meeting.

When I started RI, I probably attended a meeting five or six times a week for about a year. After that first year, I still attended at least three meetings a week for quite a while. I did this for two reasons -- first, my symptoms were so acute, I wanted to go to meetings because they really helped me and second, because my symptoms were so acute, I couldn't work or do much of anything else except attend RI meetings.

Flash forward 10 and half years and my life is totally different. Because of RI, I have obliterated many of the nervous symptoms that once bombarded me like a hail storm. I still have nervous symptoms, but they are milder and shorter acting. Dr. Low talks about his when describing nervous patients versus nervous persons. I'm not categorizing myself, but I do think I've made much progress toward becoming a nervous person.

The irony, however, is that in improving my mental health and reducing my nervous symptoms, I've also improved my life to the point where I can work, take care of my family and even have some semblance of a normal social life, which then leaves less time for meetings. After a while, I start having more symptoms.

So the antidote to my setback is to attend more meetings and, failing that, post more examples on the forum. How simple. Thank you, Recovery International, once again for reminding me to make a business of my mental health.

Boring is okay

When I signed in to my blog today, I realized how long it's been since I last posted. My life has been pretty routine and, some might say, boring, but that is okay with me. Before I started the Recovery International program, I longed for excitement. But what I really craved were the thrills and chills of temper. Unfortunately, those thrills and chills came with some undesirable side effects in the form of nervous symptoms, including depression, anxiety, panic attacks, irritability. Boy, though, did I have a lot to talk (or should I say complain?) about.

Then there was the imagination on fire. If I was really bored, I'd start imagining all the things that could go wrong with my life or with the world. I have to admit, I still engage my imagination, but when I start to get carried away, I bring myself back to reality by spotting.

Today, instead of looking forward to a lifetime of nervous symptoms or to unrealistic expectations of thrilling excitement, I look forward to the average activities of daily life. This afternoon, I found myself in the kitchen making a salad, a vegetable soup, and baked tofu all at the same time. That was enough excitement for me. And instead of vanity, I felt the realistic pride of taking care of myself and my family by feeding them healthy food that they would enjoy eating.

This reminds me of the spot that "Recovery stands for realism, good common sense, and an unspoiled way of looking at (or viewing) life." I hope everyone has a great week and endorses for all the efforts they make.