"The Wisdom of Dr. Low"

I just purchased a copy of the latest RI book, "The Wisdom of Dr. Low: Words to Live By." This great resource has frequently-used and not so frequently used spots and quotations heard at Recovery meetings from four of Dr. Low's books. So, while at a meeting you might hear someone spot "the passion for self-distrust," you can open the book to the section on averageness, and read the sentences that precede it and put it into context. Plus, it gives readers the book and page from which the quotation originates. It also has quotes from "My Dear Ones," a biography about Dr. Low written by Neil and Margaret Rau.

Whether you are new to Recovery or a veteran member, this resource is great because it organizes the quotations by topic, including averageness, beliefs, depression, obsessions, panic, self-diagnosis, self-help, sleep, temper, and trivialities, just to name a few. And it gives members insight into the program. I'd suggest that anyone who wants a refresher on the program or just wants to read a quote a day from Dr. Low get a copy of this book. Of course, it's not a substitute for reading the books themselves as the books are rich with the philosophy of the method as well as numerous examples of how it can be applied.


Long-time RI member, Cliff Brown, helped compile the various quotations that comprise the book. Thanks Cliff, for all your work on this.

Trivialities that used to make me fall apart

Today started out great. I got to sleep in until 9 a.m. I had a fairly peaceful morning with my son, who finally got enough sleep himself to be agreeable and let me brush his teeth and dress him for a field trip to an ice skating rink he was going to later in the day with his father. He even asked for oatmeal this morning for breakfast and ate most of it.

Well, I have to expect to be disappointed or expect frustration, right? That's an important RI principle. I should have been expecting a load of frustration, but I went along blithely, expecting nothing but ease and comfort. Ha!

My husband had to call the computer company to once again report that our brand new computer doesn't work. That took time, so my son and husband left almost an hour later than scheduled. They left and I sighed and thought, "Now I have the house to myself for a couple hours and can finish the laundry, do some writing, clean the kitchen, exercise."

I checked my email and went downstairs about an hour later and saw my son's lunch still sitting on the kitchen counter. In former days, I would have exploded and called my husband, yelling at him and accusing him of negligence. I can't say I didn't have some unkind thoughts about it, but I pulled another RI spot out of my tool kit and "dropped the judgment" against him (and myself for not reminding him to take it). But I still had to deliver the lunch and leave earlier for work than I originally planned. I decided to be group minded and call my husband and just drop off the lunch, but I felt impelled to rush, which is something RI teaches us to avoid, as it "leads to tenseness," which creates temper and symptoms.

Instead of driving like I was in the Indy 500 to the skating rink, I drove the speed limit and got there in about 15 minutes. I also arrived at work on time, which was amazing considering the traffic. But I still felt some tenseness and lowered tones. Luckily, I've learned in RI, that my symptoms (tenseness included) are "distressing but not dangerous" and they would disappear if I didn't attach any danger to them.

I know before attending RI meetings and learning the method, I would have blown up not only at my husband, but at myself as well. I would have been obnoxious the rest of the day, too. Whew, thank you Recovery, International.

Great online resource for your mental health

I was moping around last night after waiting around all afternoon for a return phone call I didn't get (the person called this morning - yeah!), and it wasn't until late at night and I was in bed that I remembered I could have posted an example on Recovery International's Example Forum. I also could have called another RI member and given a five-minute phone call, but it was too late.

The Example Forum lets users (you do have to sign up but it is free) post examples in the four-step format and then receive spots from other users. It isn't in real time, but I find it somewhat cathartic just to write my example and know that someone else will offer some feedback, Recovery style, even if it's a day or two later. Plus, I read other example and spot on them and it's amazing how much better it makes me feel.

If you're completely new to RI, you can visit their other forums as well, including the Q & A Forum, the General Discussion Forum, and the RI website. The website offers an explaination of the Recovery International Method, the tools and terms associated with it, and guidance on how to give an example, plus more.

So, when your ready to dive in to RI, just visit www.recovery-inc.org. You'll find the forums under the Meetings tab. And keep endorsing. It'll make you feel better, especially if you make a habit of it.

Change is never easy

Especially for a nervous person such as myself. One particular RI spot that is embedded into my consciousness is that "nervous people don't like change."

Two of our family friends might be moving. One friend might move out of the country and another, just across town. My son loves to play with the kids from both families and I don't make friends all that easily.

So I felt unsettled by the news. I knew, for a few minutes, that they were moving all because of me (fearful temper), and I thought, "How dare they leave?" (angry temper). I was genuinely annoyed and really only thought about how it would affect me if they moved. This self-centeredness is a great example of "taking my own dear self too seriously," another fitting RI spot.

Over the years in RI, I've learned I cannot control the outer environment and that there is no danger in change - oftentimes it leads to something better. I took lots of secure thoughts that we'll still see the family who is moving across town and, as for the family moving to another county, well, there's email.